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Crying is good for you...

Still sucks though.

Today has been an incredibly heard day for me. I worked a cleaning job first thing, and then went to therapy. 
Therapy normally isn't too bad, but my roommate's cat died yesterday and I started talking about that, and my reaction to my roommate's pain.  I insulate myself from emotions so much that when I see people in real pain, at least in the real world as opposed to in a movie, I get surprised. It's almost like I don't believe in pain and suffering. I block it all out to the best of my ability and try to go along my merry way in my little happy bubble. 
But that's not the way the world works. 
Cary Elwes said it best: "Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something." (Princess Bride)
I've shut myself down in an effort to protect myself from pain. I push people away. The problem is that I'm really not an introvert at all. I need people. I thrive on the attention and affection and praise that I get. And yet, I won't let anyone close enough to let them give me what I need. 
I'm working on it though. I'll be seeing my therapist again on Friday: two sessions in one week. 
This is really hard, but I'm really hopeful for the healing and release it will bring.
For now, though, I'm stuck in the emotional hangover.
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